Every week, every month, when we truly open ourselves up to others personally and professionally, we share angst.
“My boss just got fired and they are re-organizing our division.”
“My son is getting bad grades at school, is coming home way past his curfew and doesn’t seem to care.”
“Too much gossip and she wouldn’t even give me the day off when my mother needed surgery.”
“The CEO got a 32% rating on Glassdoor.com and my top candidate just declined our offer.”
“He said we should take a break. I think he is drinking too much”
The angst is real, I know, I’ve had my share as well. While it may be invisible, we are often standing there, trying to be stoic and bold but underneath it all we are bleeding emotionally on the floor.
I went through a situation recently where my husband and I had to make some tough decisions as parents (have you raised a teenager?!). I felt fear, guilt, sad, and judged by some people I really care about. We were trying to do right and teens certainly do not come with owner’s manuals. We had to take some action and some agreed with our plan, some did not. It was a time for me that was filled with shame and I started feeling more socially isolated.
I realized in the midst of this crisis, that I needed to worry a lot less about what people think, and a lot more about getting the intel we needed to find viable solutions.
I wrote one of my acronyms N.E.W.L.Y (Not Everyone Will Like You— or your decision) as a reminder and posted it on my antique gold bedroom mirror. NEWLY! But I needed more perspective about me in context to others in my life. As a people-pleaser, I wanted consensus.