https://www.twomentor.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/uc-300x82.png 0 0 Julie Kantor https://www.twomentor.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/uc-300x82.png Julie Kantor2019-02-19 19:35:582019-02-20 21:45:02Why Mentors Hate Workplace Gossip
|“Words have no wings but they can fly a thousand miles.“ |
~ Korean Proverb
|We’ve all been there at work. A perceived injustice, a mean look, a discourteous or catty remark. The confusion, then the anger sets in. The poison as The Four Agreement’s author Don Miguel Ruiz discusses so eloquently in his toltec wisdom guide has now been drunk… by you. Given to you potentially by an unwitting accomplice who started the day off wr . Hurt, you find someone to share your pain with. Someone who can validate your view…|
I’ve been there many times in my life. In fact, the other day I slammed on my brakes when a woman in a convertible sky blue Mercedes whisked passed me in the parking lot and I almost hit her. Her eyes met my eyes with a dark glare. We both were driving too fast, but once the red and orange rage left my eyes and I parked, I realized it was 100% my fault as I was not fully present. “Own it, Julie,” I said to myself. Take responsibility, apologize if you can, do not create a validating story of victimhood. Do not ruin this glorious day.
“Can you believe Scott got a 20% raise,” Lenny* said to his co-worker Tomas* He lost the XYZ company account and was golfing all summer. Lenny looks at Tom with concern. “You’ve been here three years longer and didn’t lose one of our biggest clients,” adds Lenny. “You should be pissed!”
Tomas agreed. He knew that Scott had actually saved two contracts, was golfing with customers, and had far exceeded anyone else in customer service evaluations. He knew that Scott was coming in early and staying in late, but he couldn’t help feeling a bit steamed every time Scott spoke at the 2:30 Business Development meeting. He also didn’t like how Scott spoke to his direct report. Tom reflected on his 5% raise, about the bills piling up at home and had a fleeting thought, should he apply for a new job?
Tomas had accepted a shot of poison and observed Lenny sharing Scott’s news with four other people the next day at lunch.
Gossip is the antithesis of Mentoring… Think about it, a mentor is invested in the self-actualization of another human being. A mentor gets stronger and better from lifting others up. Mentoring brings down silos, it decreases isolation, it saves lives when we have stronger connections with others (a hallmark of any 12-Step program- called a sponsor). It is paramount to wellbeing. Malicious gossip is a teardown play.
“I pray that she gets everything she wants or dreams of,” a friend shared in context to how she manages a resentment. “I no longer let her live rent-free in my head,” she added.
As Kennedy said in his 1963 speech “A rising tide lifts all ships,” We rise when we help others. Protect yourself and by all means, don’t drink what’s in that shot glass even if someone you know well hands it to you.
Here are 35 valuable quotes on gossip to reflect on its role in your life.
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